in front of me

a *heated* summer day

It seems quite surreal. That life, in fact, is happening so big and bold in front of me. I live for the big and bold. It’s hard for my mind when things aren’t bold, loud, and beautiful. I long for that stuff. I don’t think that’s wrong. But lately, it’s been getting in the way of my humility.

This week alone marks huge steps in my life + faith. Firsts and milestones. This will be my first time out of the country, living in unknown paradigms and places. I'll be experiencing incredible cities in the Dominican Republic. While I have been out of America twice prior to this, both were for cruise destinations. They were exhilarating for my exploratory heart. So far, they’ve been my experiences beyond the states. I’ve loved them!

The crazy days are coming. And in the chaos, I seem to thrive.

So what’s in front of me? A collection of summer days strung together. Some are simple, mundane days. Some are treks that keep my blood pumping. Yet, one thing is certain. All these days count. The boring ones and the adventurous ones. I know they count because I’ve seen God use all types of days --- and even all my attitudes. Sometimes I get a little too sassy with Jesus and I think I know what’s better. Hint, hint: His plans always seem to prevail. And thank goodness, they do. He has the best ones.

I used to despise unplanned days. Probably because my body and mind don’t enjoy sitting still (e.g., why dancing around my house was never just a phase). I’m always moving. I hate being bored. I hate sitting down. In fact, I’m still kind of working on my perspective towards rest. However, I just know God is trying to teach me His ways amidst my stubborn attitude. Life isn’t always the perfect planned adventure. It’s about letting Him into my life, all the time. Whether it’s celebratory, awful, or boring. After all, my life isn’t really my own. God loves being with us in all types of days. Remember Jenna, He made them. He makes broken into beautiful so He can certainly turn “boredom” into beautiful. I’ve found that these summer moments of boredom are really just choices.

That’s right, choices. I’m realizing now that these moments are actually times where God is giving me gifts. He’s giving me the gift of time and no plans right now, after an insane year of entering the adult world. In those moments, I get to choose a few of His great gifts for me. Time to rest, get creative, write, practice español, cook, read, or research European transit.

He is granting me these choices at such an intentional time. Preparation for this week and of course for what’s to come in the next few months. May I not take it for granted. May I not doubt what God is doing and what He will do. May I not dismiss what’s in front of me.